I’ve posted about two of the four agreements so far. Next up: don’t make assumptions. Like the other two, this is something I used to (and still do) struggle with. I am the queen of making assumptions. I always think I know how a situation is going to turn out or what someone is going to say. Turns out… I don’t! I heard a quote at my training the other week that fits really well with this agreement.
“A mind cannot know another mind.”
As much as your ego wants you to believe you can, you can’t. It is as simple as that. Push your ego aside and stop making assumptions. This was something I talked about frequently with my counselor and I had never really realized how often I assumed. She would ask me why I didn’t ask someone something and I would say, “well I know this is what they would say.” She would always call me out asking how I knew that. I would try to stand behind my thoughts and give examples of why I “knew” how it would turn out.
The real story here is that I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to risk being disappointed or because I feared the actual outcome. I was hiding in fear behind my assumption. It is much easier to assume the worst rather than get your hopes up, right? While this may seem true, making assumptions actually hurts you more in the end. It kind of goes along with the saying, “you never know unless you try.” You could live your whole life in fear and never know your true potential. You have to at least try! Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want.
When you communicate with others as clearly as you can, you avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. I think this statement fit in well with the first agreement, be impeccable with your word. Miscommunication is such a common problem in this world, especially when it comes to communicating through technology. It is so hard to read people when you aren’t talking face to face. Don’t complicate things more by playing the guessing game or making assumptions. Be straightforward and express what you are really thinking. It may not always turn out how you would like, but I bet more times than not you will appreciate conversations with clear and direct communication.