Life has been full of challenges and changes lately. I had written a post about my new job a few weeks ago. It was all about how excited I was and how I was going to make it work with everything else I was already doing. It was done and ready to be shared… so why couldn’t I hit publish? For days I would open it, re-read it and make a few little edits. But day after day, I hit save instead of publish. At the time I didn’t realize my gut was telling me something. A week later I decided I wouldn’t be continuing with that position.
On paper, the job was a great fit for me. It had all of the things I was looking for in a full-time position. In reality, it was a threat to my dreams and passions. It would have been a distraction, taking me off the course I so carefully designed for myself. Could I have stuck with the job and been successful? No doubt! At some point, though, I would have gone through my normal cycle and likely wouldn’t have been happy.
My counselor and I determined my most reoccurring cycle was that I would get an opportunity that sounded great and wouldn’t hesitate to jump right on board. I would follow through for a period of time, feeling important and accomplished. After awhile though, I would start to get feelings that it wasn’t enough. That’s because I let people, jobs, opportunities pull me away from what I am really meant to do.
She had the best analogy that made it easier for me to understand how this pattern worked. She said I was like a piece of gum. People/things would come along and pull at the gum, pulling me in all sorts of directions, but I was at the center of it all, feeling stuck. I don’t think there is anything that could describe my life and the patterns I experience any better. She also said that picking up the piece of gum and moving it was only a temporary fix, and it wouldn’t be long until someone/something else came along and tried to pull at the piece of gum again.
Why do I feel this time was a little different than my normal pattern? Because this time, I listened to my gut. Sure, I maybe let myself be pulled a little in the beginning, but as soon as I realized it was the start of this same cycle, I pulled that piece of gum back. I stood my ground. I said no. I put myself first.
While it shows up in a different disguise each time, at the core, it is the same. This is the fastest I have noticed, acknowledged and took control of this ongoing pattern. I have experienced so much growth since the first time my counselor described this analogy to me. Slowly, but surely, I am learning to trust and listen to my gut.
I recently saw a post on Instagram that said:
“Never discredit your gut instinct. You’re not being paranoid. Your body can pick up vibrations, some better than others, and if something deep inside you says something’s not right about a person or situation, trust it and keep pushing.”
These words hit me hard. There is so much truth to them. I feel I am able to better listen to my gut instinct due to my yoga journey over the last year and a half. Yoga is more than asana (the physical practice). Sure, the poses make you tune into your body and perhaps challenge you physically, which is great! But… the real connection is the one you make with your whole self. How you learn to breathe fully, how you begin to trust yourself, how you listen to what it is you truly need.
If you haven’t committed to a consistent yoga practice, ask yourself, “What is standing in my way?” I bet you can come up with a list of excuses, but I am going to guess the real reason isn’t listed there. So many people have told me they just don’t have the time. Yoga does not have to be an hour long class you go to every day. It can be as simple as starting your day with a mantra like, “I am enough.” It can be pausing and taking 3 full deep breaths when you’re feel stressed. It can be holding the door for a stranger or offering a compliment to someone you love.
If it’s that simple, how relevant is the list of reasons, or excuses rather, that you came up with? Maybe it isn’t any of those reasons, but instead, it’s that you aren’t ready to commit to yourself on a whole new level.