I was inspired by Maegan to do a 30 day journaling countdown to turning 30 years old. I bought her eBook of her journal entries. While I’m not sharing all of mine I thought I would share the final one with you all. So far today, it has been a pretty normal, relaxing day. I look forward to all of the celebration to come but glad I left some time for myself this morning.
I’m sharing word for word what I wrote in my journal when I first woke up this morning so it probably doesn’t flow and may not make sense but I wanted it to be authentic. I can hardly read my own handwriting when I get going so quickly so this should be fun. I’ll share some of my thought/comments in parentheses as I type this up. Alright… here we go.
“The day is finally here. Thirty days of journaling has been an accomplishment, but I’m also ready to be done (lol). It has been fun to reflect, dream and ponder. I can’t wait to look back at these journal entries on future birthdays.
So this is 30. Devan asked me this morning if it feels weird. I think I surprised myself by saying no. It’s just another day in this amazing life I have created for myself. Time is just a way to measure but I tend to measure on my experiences, what I have learned and how far I’ve come.
All of this journaling has just reinforced what I already knew… Even tho (I hate spelling out the word though, anyone else? Why are those extra letters there?!) there still are and will always be hardships and time of confusion, I am happy with my life and where I have gotten myself. Years of heartbreak, most created by the way I treated myself, but others on how I let others treat me (that doesn’t really make sense), have taught me so many valuable lessons that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I hope to use this (realization) as a reminder for future me. I know I can survive whatever life throws at me because I’ve battled back 100% of the time so far.
There’s still so much I hope to achieve and experience in this lifetime and plenty of room for growth… but I am proud o say I feel very content. This is one intention I had set for myself this year. Feeling content. Not needing to be constantly changing or chasing something but forcing myself to see things for what they are, or rather, where they are. I use constant change, chaos, chasing success to hide from myself. If I’m always keeping myself busy, I don’t have time to study myself. To truly look into the mirror and see ME (I underlined these words for emphasis on really seeing me – not just on the surface). It’s always a great challenge to break patterns (read my previous posts on patterns and cycles: 1, 2 & 3), but this one is priority. What is life if I don’t fully know and love myself? It is a practice and one that I know my perfection like self will continue to work at.
I love my life. I love the person that I am. I love my beautiful imperfections. I love my spirit, my fire and my soul. (Statements that I will continue to tell myself until I fully believe them – some days are easier than others.) Here’s to recognizing my first 30 years and cheers to another 30 living this crazy, beautiful like of mine.”
Thanks for all of the birthday wishes so far. I have already felt so much love today. I have a feeling 30 will be one of the best years yet.